We often discuss night weaning as a milestone and many parents are wondering when is the time to night wean their little one. While there’s certainly a component that has to do with your child achieving a developmental readiness that will allow them to sleep without feeds, gentle night weaning is more like a set of skills that you will need to develop to help your child night wean.
In this article, we will discuss the main strategies you will need to follow in order to wean your little one successfully. Gentle night weaning is all about understanding your child’s needs and rhythms and not following a one-size-fits-all approach. The age your little one will wean at night might differ significantly from a different child, so try to avoid comparing your child to others. Let’s see where you should focus instead!
Follow Your Child’s Readiness
You might have heard that your baby needs to night wean once they are 4 or 6 months, or when they reach around the 5 to 5.5 kilograms (approximately 11 to 12 pounds) weight. Pediatricians and other experts usually use milestones such as this to pinpoint when weaning can safely begin. This means that if you choose to begin night weaning after your baby has reached said milestone, they can consume enough calories during the day to support their growth and development which lowers the danger of them losing weight, failing to thrive, or becoming significantly dehydrated.
These age or weight indications are just that, indications, and it’s important to note that they are often aligned with Western beliefs and practices, which may differ from cultural traditions where night nursing is a common practice until a child is 2 years old or even older. We know from large scale observational studies that study different populations that most babies wake up and are fed at least once at the ages of 6-18 months, or that – even if they are not offered a feed – they usually seek some comfort from their caregivers to fall back to sleep. We also know that mothers who are breastfeeding usually offer to feed at night, probably because by doing so they can help their baby fall asleep faster which in turn means that they can sleep faster.
For that reason, it is important to observe the child to determine whether or not they might be ready for night weaning. Some signs to look out for are:
- Sleeping for longer periods at night without a feed
- Having more consistent sleep patterns
- Being soothed by shushing, patting, and hugging if they have a short awakening
- Shorter nursing sessions at night
It’s also essential to observe ourselves to determine whether we are ready. As mentioned above, many breastfeeding mothers use breastfeeding as a reliable tool to help their little ones sleep. So we need to see if this tool is sustainable or not before we decide to replace it. Some indications that it has become unsustainable are:
- You feel you are ready to night wean
- You cannot fall asleep after your child has been nursed to sleep
- You are the default parent at bedtime which makes you feel trapped and it causes you to put your professional or personal life on hold
- You often feel agitated and irritated
- You regularly have anger outbursts towards your child or break down in crying
Your child and you have a very intimate relationship when you are breastfeeding. So although some of the above indications might bring up feelings of shame or regret, please remember that your well-being matters as much as your child’s. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
Follow Your Child’s Rhythm
Similar to following your child’s readiness for this step, your child’s rhythm can also differ from another’s. While one child might night wean cold turkey, another might require a more gradual approach. Most children go through periods during which they wake more often and periods when they wake less often. It is often easier to start when they wake less and generally seem in a good mood and healthy.
When a period comes that they wake more often, you can either stop where you were and maintain the feeds you are offering at that stage or go one step back. You might want to avoid nursing at every wake when this happens. Or you might want to respond promptly and empathetically if your child seems to need it now. In general, during these periods sleep becomes less important and they are mostly focused on reaching a milestone, soothing some discomfort, and getting well. So it’s easier for all of you to adopt a ‘wait and see’ approach until this period has passed.
Again, observing your child’s individual patterns and rhythms and aligning night weaning with your child’s natural rhythm can lead to a smoother transition and a more peaceful bedtime routine.
Create a plan
Once you’ve determined that your child and you are ready for night weaning, it’s important to create a plan. A good plan should be gradual and flexible, considering your child’s unique needs and rhythms but also your personal preferences and your family’s daily life. Here are some strategies you can use. Feel free to adjust them to your family habits and preferences:
- Increase feedings during the day: Make sure your child is getting enough calories during the day so they don’t need to wake up at night to eat.
- Feed your baby right before you go to bed: If you’re nursing, this means your breasts will be more comfortable when you fall asleep and your baby will have a full stomach to help them sleep.
- Drop only one feeding at a time: Start by dropping the feeding that is least important to your child. Wait at least 3-4 days before dropping another feeding.
- Provide comfort: Offer other forms of comfort, such as cuddling, singing, or rocking to help your child fall back asleep.
- Stay consistent: Once you’ve started night weaning, it’s important to stay consistent with your plan. This will help your child adjust more easily.
- Massage: A gentle massage can help your child relax and fall asleep more easily. You can use a soothing lotion or oil and gently rub your child’s back, arms, and legs.
- Cuddling: Cuddling with your child can help them feel safe and secure. You can hold your child close and sing a lullaby or read a bedtime story.
- Soft music: Soft music can help calm your child and create a relaxing environment. You can play gentle music in the background while putting your child to bed.
- Nighttime routine: Establishing a consistent nighttime routine can help signal to your child that it’s time for bed. This can include activities such as taking a bath, putting on pajamas, reading a story, and saying goodnight.
- Play: Play can be a powerful tool in preparing for and processing the transition of night weaning. You can use play to prepare for the change or to help a child process the feelings that the transition might bring up.
Remember to include yourself in the plan, along with any other caregivers or professionals who will assist you. Here are some ideas:
- Reasons for weaning: your reasons should be your personal reasons and you don’t need to justify them to anyone. Just make sure you remind yourself what your reasons are and why you are in the process of night weaning. Which areas of your life will improve?
- Taking care of you: what do you need to be able to pull through? How is your health? Do you have time for yourself? Do you need some extra ‘me’ time?
- Other caregivers: what will other caregivers be doing? Will they help you put your baby to sleep? Will they give them a bottle if they still need night feeds? Will they clean the bottles and the pump parts (if you are pumping)? How about taking care of an older child or cooking food and helping with chores?
- Other professionals: gather the contact details of any professional you might need: pediatrician, sleep consultant or other breastfeeding expert, psychologist, parent coach, etc.
In conclusion, by following your child’s readiness and rhythm, creating a flexible plan, and incorporating gentle practices into your routine, you can make the night weaning transition smoother. Patience and consistency are key. Seek support if needed. Restful nights await you and your child.
Would you like to discuss night weaning? I would love to help! I have successfully helped many mothers and children night wean gently across various age groups.